i don't need my iPhone to tell me when to go to sleep.. that's something i'm comfortable figuring out on my own

bobby knepper Vouch

Big news! Mr “one cup of coffee today” is feeling like he should become mr “two cups of coffee today” :)

“im neurodivergent” that’s cool man you’re still being an asshole

Whenever an A&R asks me for music recs it’s like “know any small young artists who are already famous but i somehow haven’t heard of them & also have a completely unique sound that’s DIY but Mainstream & they’re Hot but Not Too Hot And They Sound Exaclty Like Kings Of Leon??????”

Watching “better call Saul” and there’s a 5 minute clip of Mike just eating pistachios and drinking a PBR in the dark in his own home. He’s just like me fr

I just hope someday I’m bagged up enough to use a word like “cash flow” in a conversation

Shout out to the five or so people that like every tweet I post. You know who you are. Thank you. Check my will when I die for a $25 Starbucks gift card

it’s a beautiful day for a vasectomy 🫶🏻

Checking a recipe site on my phone is truly the most irritating experience

Tired of having to do things!!!!!!!!

So glad I figured out that I’m not a mustache guy during a less significant chapter of my life. Imagine being 30 trying to figure that out

Ahhh I’m sorry if you’re too cool for Spotify wrapped day, I hope things get better soon

Man I’m 30 now don’t put me in a group chat unless we’re making money, getting beers, or making money WHILE getting beers

if youre an artist that gets overwhelmed/stressed by people showing support/ reaching out maybe dont be an artist

Don’t make me join a google meet link are you out of your damn mind

don’t have to pretend to like ryan winnen’s ugly ass boring ass meaningless ass art anymore

I could kill a gorilla 1 on 1