I created a chart to help you decide whether or not to go to Thanksgiving.

FACEBOOK: Let me tell you how perfect NYE was. INSTAGRAM: Let me show you how perfect NYE was. TWITTER: This is already the worst year of my life.

PSA if you live in Chicago and login with your library card # and PIN you can read newspaper articles for free. chipublib.org/resources-type…

I hope it’s okay if I plug my work here: Today I made some stellar Kraft mac and cheese.

I’d be willing to quit Twitter again for a little bit of attention.

Story of my life on X.

Who up firing off perfectly solid tweets for an audience of zero?

Where the hell is Blayr 🌻 ?!

I’ve determined that my target audience is people who have already fled Twitter. (Prove me wrong.)

Unpopular opinion: we should stay on Twitter until there continue to be no likes available.

Anyone that calls Twitter X deserves to be here.

My new year has been amazing so far, thank you for asking. Eating triscuits and listening to Enya.

Blayr 🌻 That sounds like a big mood. Throw in a little chamomile tea and youve got the retirement trifecta. 💁‍♀️

I’m focusing on the wrong things like getting 4 likes on a Saturday night.

It would be nice to walk into Monday night with 7 likes. This is a gentle suggestion.

I wrote the first paragraph of my novel. I know I’ve reached my peak.

Is it time to delete my Twitter account?

Blayr - your secret is safe with us. Promise will keep this between us. #PinkyPromise x.com/uncommonbee/st…