If the Tigers lose on Independence Day, I will be forced to assume everyone involved with the organization is a practicing Communist.

It’ll just be a “Toby Keith Essentials” Fourth of July. Anything else would be a crime.

All I want in life is for this format back

My boss is eating a hot dog taco. What life choices led me here?

Really missing singing Frank Sinatra on the back porch with the fellas right now.

Can we start giving hurricanes cooler names. My town struggling to deal with “Hurricane Debby” makes me feel like such a pussy.

Inbound to the City of Dreams. My excitement cannot be measured.

ScarfGeebz just admitted to being a Biden voter. EW. GROSS.

I’m tired. I’m broken. I’m hurt. I’m spent. This football team has ruined me.

Shoes are soaked. Computer is in rice. But hey, I got this awesome sticker for going to class! Go blow yourself, Señor.

Happy election day burnerverse. Time to start drinking.

Professors writing their own textbook and making it mandatory to purchase for their class is such a scumbag move.

The Lions make me want to kill myself. Nothing but pain.

Preserving tradition - Each year less and less people say this cheer as soon as the ball flies during each kickoff. It’s time to re-embrace this tradition and spread the word to people who don’t know it. After every kickoff there should be 80,000 fans screaming and not 15,000, …

I’m not sure the last time I hated someone as much as I hate Diego Pavia.

This is the week Carolina does the “empty the bag” game. Just like Tennessee freshman year. Give me Carolina by 10. #imdelusional

The wife has been met tonight.

NUKE this guy wearing a WNBA jersey in my class

Graduating fucking BLOWS. Cant put it more plainly than that.