Finally back to long days and sunset rides on the Harley!🙌🏻 (Taking applications to fill that back seat 📝)

Well 2022…. You fucked me good! And it’s only March! 👍🏻 Cool.

You know you’re getting old when 4/20 is just another day to you. No plans to go to hippie hill, or to ditch school to go get high on the beach in Santa Cruz.. Nope. Just taking my happy ass to work and comin home to Netflix in bed. 😅

Take you for a ride on my big green tractor 🎶 -Jason Aldean

The old “It’s not you, it’s me.” Escape route is such a classic. 🤌🏻

Happy Mother’s Day to all the milfs out there! Keep slayin, keep momin, and keep doin you! #Queens 😚

Adulting: When you get pissed off with the weather and have to keep changing the thermostat from cool to heat back to cool and than heat again. Cmon Cali pick a season and stick with it. Damn.

Ladies, if your booty is as hard as a rock, we do NOT want it. Get outa here with that rock rump! We like a little motion of the ocean, a bounce to that butt. Sincerely, Men across the world.👍🏻

Alcohol ain’t my friend but I keep drinkin cause these demons roam, and follow me around everywhere I go. 🔥

When you hit the snooze button and that “10 minutes” feels like 10 seconds. Damn🤦🏻‍♂️

In bed before 9:30pm.. Who have I become?? 👴🏻

In bed at 7:30.. Yup this is my life now and I’m not mad about it lol

Right girl, wrong time. Woo go me! 🤡🔫

One of my biggest fears in life is having a child one day and it coming out ugly. That’s gonna be an issue. Idc if it’s my kid, your kid, some strangers kid. If they ugly I’m gonna say something l. Poor bastards. 🤦🏻‍♂️

Life is like a penis… Woman make it hard for no reason!🤦🏻‍♂️

Are you really a valley girl if you don’t have a picture with the chihuahua in the cowboy hat and glasses? #IYKYK

You ever sit in your car in your driveway just listening to music? It’s a mood.

Gonna get a side job at Target so I can meet a woman in the home decor section. Used to look in the bars and now I’m lookin at target. Funny how the older you get the standards and taste in attraction change.