Every Monday! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on Arthur Avenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Featuring long sets on 7/25 by Ginny Hogan_ Ben Asher @JewAnon ONI francis and Greg & Rob Cardazone RSVP for FREE to be in raffle for free drinks arthurave.eventbrite.com #Fordham #NYC

Every Monday! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on Arthur Avenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Ben Asher presents top comics performing long sets. 8/8 Ben Asher will be work-shopping material for his new half-hour RSVP for FREE arthurave.eventbrite.com #NYC #Fordham

Stay tuned for upcoming tour dates for my new hour of stand-up comedy: "Genital Inspections"

Every Monday! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on Arthur Avenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Featuring top comics performing long sets on August 15th Alcoholic Synonymous Patricia Dinglasan Ben Asher TommyAmadoComic @notannefrankk RSVP for FREE arthurave.eventbrite.com #NYC #Fordham #Comedy

I just witnessed a conversation with a wackjob Texas gun nut who actually said, "I'm not anti-abortion... Just anti-roe v wade... I'm pro-choice." I'd hate to know what he'd be against if he claimed to be anti-abortion.

Every Monday! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on Arthur Avenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Featuring top comics performing long sets on August 15th Aaron Weaver Christiana Jackson Chris Cyr Daniel Louis Vezza Ben Asher RSVP for FREE ArthurAve.eventbrite.com #NYC #Comedy

Every Monday! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on Arthur Avenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Featuring top comics performing long sets on August 29th Brian Jian Ben Asher Glenn J Cohen DAVID REY MARTINEZ Chris Warren RSVP for FREE ArthurAve.eventbrite.com #NYC #CtComedy #NYComedy

Apps that tell you how big your fetus is compared to sizes of fruits or vegetables is really useful if you want to eat more than just the placenta after you give birth, but you don't know how many cannibals to invite for dinner.

Spending any amount of your life posting on twitter in order to gain more followers is behavior worse than trolling. Have something urgent to say.

The reason why Donald Trump was keeping so many documents containing human intelligence sources is because he was hoping they would finally give him some human intelligence.

I'm the best kept secret on twitter. So don't ruin it.

The UK is a nation of great actors. Millions of people performing ceremonial, symbolic mourning of a ceremonial, symbolic monarch.

Wednesdays! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on #ArthurAvenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Top comics performing long sets on 9/14 ALLAHU AKBAR ROCKSTAR Ben Asher Aaron Kominos-Smith James Mac Ginny Hogan_ MJ Murphy RSVP for FREE ArthurAve.eventbrite.com #NYC #CtComedy #NYComedy

If Jesus were alive today he would have become an OB-GYN who performs abortions.

Catch me on stage tonight in Queens on Charles McBee's Nerd Is The New Black Q.E.D. at 7:30pm. This is always a great show.

Wednesdays! 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on #ArthurAvenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Top comics performing long sets on November 2nd Carmen Lagala Jay Nog Ben Asher Ben Miller Laura High RSVP for FREE ArthurAve.eventbrite.com #NYC #CtComedy #NYComedy #makeNYlaugh #Fordham

Arthur Avenue Comedy with Ben Asher is TONIGHT! at Clinton Hall Bronx with Misha @julianna_maher Ben Asher Michael Harrison

TONIGHT! Presented by New York Comedy Festival 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx on #ArthurAvenue @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Top comics perform long sets on 11/9 Misha @julianna_maher Ben Asher Michael Harrison RSVP for FREE ArthurAve.eventbrite.com #NYComedy #makeNYlaugh #Fordham

TONIGHT! The New York Comedy Festival presents #ArthurAvenue Comedy with Ben Asher 9pm Stand-Up Comedy in the Bronx @ClintonHallNY 601 E 189th st Top comics perform long sets Misha @julianna_maher Ben Asher Michael Harrison RSVP for FREE ArthurAve.eventbrite.com #NYComedy #makeNYlaugh

The recording on my doctor's office phone says "If this is a true medical emergency hang up and dial 911" But it never tells me what to do in a fake medical emergency.. which is especially unfortunate for hypochondriacs who are having a true-fake medical emergency.