Say hello to my little friend... (You can call me Al - Paul Simon :)

my lord, the army is ready

I threw my spaghetti thingy on the floor and it broke, but no biggie. I just use it to scratch my back. I always have it by my side. I love you spaghetti thingy. 🥰

You can cum all over me. 😊

I always figured Mick Jagger was an ass... but he sorta grew on me. Asshole, gotta love him. The Rolling Stones

youtube.com/watch?v=q8ir8r… Over hell and under tree

I’d be time traveling if I knew the address of the good old times.

If you want to know what's really going on watch the Dan Bogino Show. Thank me later. :) bongino.com/ep-1516-whats-…

If I follow you & you don't follow back, Fuck you in advance. *smiles :) 😛

Tough room.

take a bite

Stupid isn't an excuse.

If cultural references don't occur at relevant moments, not to worry... come up with *something & call yourself 'irreverent'. All you really need... no - it's not 'love' as the #Beatles once postulated - instead, it's one thing - to keep them guessing. 😌Gawd, have mercy on me.

Incoming transmission.

Hey #coder out there - skool me. ☠️ 'Hello, world!'

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Travelling to Florida with my mom - eight years old, and we stopped in this cafe to eat. A black man, not intimidating or rude, just leaned in close to me (like inches from my face) and said, "You know what we do with white girls around here... we eat 'em'. Freaked. *true story

I just said "to" two too many times and now all of a sudden I'm wearing this beautiful pink tutu and my makeup hair and nails look fabulous!