The human brain is so fascinating, it operates 24/7 from the day we were born and only stops when you're writing an exam or talking to someone attractive

Customers total was $9.11 so I said your total is nine eleven and she said “you shouldn’t say that”

if it’s “open 24h” there are no closing hours idiot

I would hate to be a celebrity bc why r u noticing trivial shit like this 😭😭

Yes I would find it very comforting that my pilot is actively confronting his mortality

everywhere i go i am facing discrimination

It’s so stupid like you can only have a PS5 if you have a son??

Twitter IS a dating app fuck it. Who wants to get married dms open

They gave a child rapist a FUCKING PUPPY?!?!!!!!!?????!

She’s going so fucking hard

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST WRESTLING VIDEO GAME ENTRANCE OF ALL TIME LMAOOO

Me and Who?

My dog Snacks in his element. 🐕

God bless my queer little life and my gay little friends❤️❤️

"Sexual Puritanism" is not a real word, you're just a weirdo.