The boys are fighting? 😢

I slept in sorry be right out

You already know you’re the most beautiful being in existence. Let me guess, Ares isn’t making you feel loved anymore? I’d act surprised, but the brute never deserved you. A woman like you deserves someone who has a better handle on words.

Get rekt, dad

This is my 5,000th tweet of never shutting the fuck up, hello <3

God, that makes me sound like my father 🤢

One of my kids literally burned raisins for his offering today. Like, what the fuck?? If you don’t want them, I don’t want them. At least burn me some grapes.

I wish Italians were real 😕

He really like… Tells you about it?

I could take you out.

Poseidon be like: walking my pet

I’m back from the dead again

anyone: so do u like men or women apollo: YES

Aww, what was wrong with his muse?

What’s a god gotta do to get his dick sucked around here?

Can I be patron god of gays?

Shut up. Your mother buys your mags blocks instead of legos.

//. I’m legally allowed to bully incendiary because they haven’t sent me a picture of their cat recently

Apollo ☀️ //. Bullying? Stopped. Dusty? Loved.

Some of you never left, huh?