When I think about you I make the shame juice.

For mental health purposes I have decided to tweet less about the human anus and more about my buddy Kevin

let's knock the dust off those boobs and take 'em for a spin playgirl

bailed on work because the world is beautiful and I love you

Amphibians are one of the chillest types of little guy fr fr

it's time to quit this 9-5 email job and fulfill my dream - lurking behind the dumpster at the local Arby's

This is not normal

we all move our bowels according to the whims of the great Poop Demon inside of us

if you were my girlfriend you would never have to climb Diarrhea Mountain alone 💯🗣

I took the day off to go skiing even though my knee still hurts but I'm going to be so strong (ibuprofen) and brave (weed/Adderall/booz)

As an American I need processed foods to live. I require microplastics to thrive.

Just scrolling through all your silly tweets waiting for the damn weekend to hit

I accidentally went outside and had fun. Please forgive me

Tomorrow we are going to seismically retrofit your ass so you're ready for "the big one"

it's only thursday. time to melt/give up/surrender

babe when I look at you like this you know its time (to rub my belly) you know I'm thinking about that thing you do (rubbing all this tummy)

She went crazy fallopian style on my stuff bro, like full luteal phase if you know what I'm sayin'

Gave up on grass for a lawn and started going pollinator friendly native plants - here we see a mix of Mayor's Handshake, Creeping Ombudsman and the broad leaf ones are Catherine's Chlamydia.

Darling please - I long to make a snow baby on you

There are portals to the Diarrhea Dimension everywhere