“Last night was a movie!” Me:

Just got matched up with a guy who told me to call him “The Duke”. Sometimes content is just handed to you on a silver platter

Called The Duke last night to see if he would wanna link up to do some filming. He had zero recollection of who I was and how I got his number. I’m completely baffled, this guy can’t be real

Where’s the freakin goo goo gaga at?

Ponderosa 😭 “Smoking or non smoking section?” Like the whole ass place isn’t hot boxed with cigs gtfo

Fall golf is cool

So you’re telling me they can fail an audit 6 years in a row, but if I send my friend $13 on venmo I have 87,000 IRS agents watching me?

Today is gonna be a great fucking day

In honor of Jersey Jerry's hole-in-one heard around the world, we're going to GIVE AWAY a year's supply of golf balls.   To enter: Follow TaylorMade Golf Follow Jersey Jerry Retweet this post by Jan 7th at 11:59 PM, we'll pick a winner then.   Good luck! #TeamTaylorMade

I don’t know why Spectrum keeps calling me, I’m literally already on the Spectrum buddy

Did I snap???

Her replacement gone have trouble.

If you ain’t playing outside today we can’t be friend’s 🤫🤔!