jeff bezos can’t become a trillionaire if he gets eaten by a whale

every whale is at least a little gay

happy father’s day to the world’s biggest daddies

yeah i got a BMW Big Motherfuckin Whale

pride month may be over but the whales are only getting gayer

it does not matter what a whale believes a person might be responsible for, there are simply zero scenarios where a whale would put a human being in a cage

there’s only one big beautiful bill and he’s a blue whale named william

the whales aren’t stopping the epstein files from being released, probably because they do not idolize pedophiles and rapists

the biggest difference between the whales and hulk hogan is the whales have never been trump-supporting, sex-addicted, child-abusers and also the whales are still alive

it takes a big man to admit when he’s wrong but it takes an even bigger man to hold a whale like a little tiny baby

most whales are old enough to remember a time when the coolest thing you could do is punch a nazi

the whales had nothing to do with the death of james dobson, which is unfortunate because im sure they would have liked to help. rip gone too late

most whales have no idea you can google something without the absolutely-less-than-useless ai feature by adding “-ai” to the end of your search

heavy is the whale that humps the back

thank god the white house is monitoring the shooting in minneapolis. we can safely add this to list of things this administration is definitely going to do something about, like ocean conservation, human rights violations, and active genocides

“taylor’s engaged!!” they shout into the void. the whales do not answer, for they do not understand and would not care if they did

if a whale were to body slam your local brewery, the beer would probably end up tasting a little flat

whales have extremely good memories and able to recall things like migration routes, productive feeding grounds, or that trump is so deep in the epstein files that the files themselves may as well be an underage child

if a whale were to wear a pair of adidas samba classic indoor soccer shoes, how would they wear them

used for everything from echolocation to communication, whales have fabulous hearing. this is also a detriment, however, as human beings can be so annoyingly fucking loud