Being 32 is just saying “ouch Charlie that really hurt”

“you tweet too much” would you tell leonardo dicaprio he paints too much??

Speaking gibberish tonight if u want to pull up

Mark Wahlberg wouldn’t have let it go down like this I’ll tell you that much

THEY SHOT STRINGER BELL??? THEY JUST KILLED HIM? JUST LIKE THAT??

Being a woman in a male dominated field by turning on band of brothers after a night out

Does anyone know how to quit your job within 9 hours and 12 minutes

You’re laughing? Gondor is calling for aid and you’re laughing???

Blurry proof of life

Woke my boyfriend up with donuts and coffee in bed and the first thing he said was “I gotta tweet a picture of those to big cat” I need a divorce

My sword

Falling in love and leaving Twitter behind as Jesus intended

You could never make me delete this app

Guy I had a crush on in middle school that was mean to me is at the bar I’m at and he dropped his weed pen on the floor and I’m going to steal it instead of telling him

Haha fuck you Paul

Boyfriend fell into the classic trap today. I asked if we could watch Love Island in the background. “Sure” he says. After about 10 minutes he says “I don’t know how you like this stupid show”. So naive. After 30 mins he turned the volume up. End of episode 1 and he’s hooked.

I had a dream about you last night (derogatory)

Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder

My dream date….and he knows that……..cute

Posted up in a pool, drunk, at 11:29 PM. Life is exactly as it should be