My phone keyboard: i know i said I'd autocapitalize your 'i's but eh, who's got time? In this economy? Also my phone keyboard: I am version this is what you wanted to you're

negaoryx - impassioned and righteous plea for a shred of humanity from top twitch creators. Top twitch creators: - lol wtf idk bro haha whatever

Searching for the right emoji in the emoji menu is one of life's little absolute pains in the ass.

For all the people unironically tweeting #DictatorBiden ... you can't vaccinate against 'fucking stupid', I guess.

Omg in a heartbeat 🤩

Arena. If you could stop giving me the worst draws against my worst matchups. That would be great. kthxbye

Just in case anybody forgot, the reason we're in this mess is that a handful of rich influential people control the world, are willing to feast on our corpses with their greed, and our hierarchical mammalian brains coerce us into letting each new generation create more of them.

I just 6-0 Star City Games #3 with 茂里憲之 / Noriyuki Mori Azorious Tempo. I am so honored. Played some of the best MTG of my life and the deck felt amazing. Thanks for the great games Jim Davis sandydog

Watched Robocop (original) tonight for the first time. I know it was a landmark film but A of all it didn't age remotely well, and B of all it's beyond plotless. If you've never seen it, you can safely avoid.

Sleep is the most natural thing, like eating or breathing. Except the smallest little thing can come along and fuck it up. Omg why are we like this?

Literally everyone else: bags groceries like normal Trader Joe's: sure, here's a double bag full of every heavy item, followed by a double bag of chips and rice cakes. Enjoy!

Life in America: Housemates: "God, our power bill gets so high in the winter. Wish there was something we could do about that." Me: "Well actually, there are many things we could..." Housemates: "Boy, it sure is a shame we can't do anything about that..."

BTW the number goes to a customer service line that does nothing to help you get unsubscribed. Guitar Center you have the most shameful email marketing practices I have ever seen, and I work in the industry.

F it - had these kicking in my closet so let's do a giveaway! Elven Empire Commander precon and a Mystery Convention booster. Follow me, like, retweet, and @ a magic player in the comments who could use some more cardboard. NA only, winner picked on Saturday!

I just learned that Kermit and Big Bird never had a scene together on Sesame Street and it's Mendela-effect levels of blowing my mind

Wordle 211 3/6 WTF is this?? 🟩⬛🟨⬛⬛ 🟩🟨⬛🟨⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

This italic smiley emoji is my new favorite thing

I just sneezed and involuntarily kicked my computer tower, and it hurt. Bodies are weird.

Me: finally learns how to go to bed before midnight My body: cool bro, I'll just wake you in the middle of the night

Hey Elon Musk , can you make it easier to reply to one tweet with another tweet? Kthx