I’ve seen Hobo Johnson live on purpose 3 times.

does “Twin Peaks” mean tits?

I’m so tolerant that if the sharif didn’t like it I straight up just wouldn’t rock the casbah

my girlfriend is having a panic attack, this is the perfect time to bring up my idea for a Che Guevara style Bonnie Blue T-shirt

looking in the toilet: “that’s weird, I don’t remember eating all this blood?”

Told my dad this and he collapsed laughing. 4 likes. Always pick being a big fish in a little pond.

Starting a service where I do DIY, gardening or cleaning for free but I get to take one item of my choosing from your house.

Apparently a “Rorschach test” is just a bunch of drawings of me being molested

I’ve actually never been flaccid, not wven once.

drunk eating dinner shouting about Japanese Imperialism while my wife passes out

didn’t want to mention it but ash and Dylan and I with the help of a welshman psychologically fought two smackheads this evening over a spliff. The Lord Provides. We Fight Satan.

all my friends tweeting today makes my phone feel like the town square in days of old, full of life and mentally challenged people

The only “hot honey” I want to talk about is my freakin wife!

Asking the 17 year old stocker if they carry this in a men’s XL

3 bedroom houses in my home town going for £80k, fuck you guys I’m back to Wales.

how much calpol can a 6ft man drink?

Sometimes you gotta shit violent and sit in silence and that’s life

lost my phone, headphones stolen, no keys, no money and i’m chronically ill, but the worst thing to happen today is my girlfriend saying she doesn’t like Beck.

cancel ash

no tweets for the week folks i’m logging out #stayblessed #rastifari #LoveIsland