“But I need an AR15 in case the government tries to take over” brother if the government wanted to they could bounce a laser beam off the moon and evaporate your house

It’s worth repeating. A mom drove there. Got handcuffed. Got out of handcuffs. Hopped a fence. Went inside the school and walked out with her two kids. All while 19 officers waited outside the classroom where the gunman was. #UvaldePolice #Uvalde

Drag queens: bright colors, positive messaging, show tunes Texas: BAN!! PROTECT THE CHILDREN!! Guns: actually kill children Texas: “It could have been worse,” the NRA says everything is fine, something about doors and mental illness, thoughts and prayers

I just asked my friend if I could borrow her “soapy vacuum” because I couldn’t remember what you call the kind that shampoo carpets. I still can’t think of what they’re called, so from now on I’m going with soapy vacuum.

Watching LA election results from the east coast isn’t as much fun as watching them from LA. I’m too old to stay up late enough to get them live so I have to see them when I wake up.

This tweet and the replies are so interesting. I can relate to so much of this.

Okay, 10pm pushed me to try Twitter for a solution. Does anyone know the trick to stopping automated calls from CVS Pharmacy? I can’t find a setting or preference in my account to make them stop.

A fun game I play with Xfinity is they send me a spam text, and I unsubscribe, and we both pretend it means anything.

I never want a cold sales call, but I especially never want 3 in a row after I’ve declined the call BECAUSE I WAS ON AN ACTUAL WORK CALL. What part of being sent straight to voicemail made Info-Tech Research Group think I wanted them to keep calling?

I will never get over how annoying and dumb it is that Kwikset doesn’t make a knob that matches the Halo fingerprint deadbolt, but the Schlage_Locks Georgian Camelot knob works! Now I need to work up the energy to paint the door. Maybe once it’s cooler outside…

It’s barely 8:30 and I’m texting my mom 100 questions about paint. She’s a lucky lady.

Not on Twitter for ages. Tweets Hulu support for help. Immediately get a bunch of weird-ass spam. FFS I just want to log into Hulu.

It is reckless and illegal to give your true love any amount of wild birds for Christmas.