I’ve had this idea forever now but I’ve never gone to Missouri until today and I bought this song just to make this video, please don’t overlook this, thank you

PSA: dont order delivery if you arent going to tip at least $3. Some asshole just had the audacity to tip me 22 cents 😒

Im king of the clout, I get lifted.

"How do you tell the difference between a gunshot and a firework?" "Well, what part of the city you in?"

when you impulsively decide to rip off your sleeves. thanks, jac!

AWSTEN KNIGHT said i was really brave for wearing white underwear at warped.

No wait. Today.

"I have depression" 1990: you should try getting some help 2017: lmaooo same

Throwback to when Awsten Knight told me i smelled like jello

"When someone tells you that you can't do something, do it more."

Nothing is more anxiety inducing than eating cheetos in a library

Okay, #Cuphead looks hella fun and i wanna buy it, should I?

Holy shit im seeing WATERPARKS tomorrow and im not ready!

This week in cooking class: onion erotica

.Senator Roy Blunt, we need #OneMoreVote in the Senate to pass the CRA to restore #NetNeutrality before it moves to the House! Please support your constituents and oppose Chairman @AjitPaiFCC's unprecedented break from 20 years of bipartisan FCC support for the Open Internet.

.Ann Wagner, we need #OneMoreVote in the Senate to pass the CRA to restore #NetNeutrality before it moves to the House! Please support your constituents and oppose Chairman @AjitPaiFCC's unprecedented break from 20 years of bipartisan FCC support for the Open Internet.

.Claire McCaskill, Thank you for supporting the CRA to restore #NetNeutrality! Thanks to you we only need #OneMoreVote for it to pass in the Senate, and are up to 150 supporters in the House. You are a champion for the Open Internet!

SO READY TO SIT ON FRANKENSTEINS LAP AND TELL HIM WHAT CANDY I WANT FOR HALLOWEEN

My two favs <3 x.com/awsten/status/…