if the pornbot’s name is super decolonized i’ll follow back. sometimes you get one that’s like Miyamoto O’Shaugnessy and you’re like, that’s beautiful 🫶

we’re slavic barbers, of course we ask incredibly probing questions about your sex life. we’re slavic barbers, of course we put enough torque on your post-shave hot towel to bend steel.

If the guitarist look like this you about to die in Napa County/the Bay Area during the ten month span between Dec 1968 and Oct 1969

calling my wife’s cooking “ai slop”

only men who are pure of heart can lift one of these

TALL GUY SIMULATOR ver 3.14 PATCH NOTES - y axis mouse sensitivity now 250% on startup - removed glitch where player would clip through birds - door frames on nightmare difficulty now three inches lower

“intimacy coordinator” sounds like something a me too’d pickup artist would call himself. like ha haaaaa yes madam i am what you might call a uhhhh *bites lip, rubbing palms* intimacy co-ordinator

launching a nonprofit called Photos Of Guys. did you know guys only have two photos taken of them a year? this May, for Mental Health Awareness Month, i pledge to attend five social functions and at each one take five photos of guys

nothing worse than an actor criterion closet video. oh wow dave franco likes tampopo, alert the fucking new york times!!!!

guys in the forties were really like weeell time to jack off! where’s my drawing of a fully clothed woman sitting on a missile

stevie nicks: yeah well maybe your fucking dick would work if you stopped doing coke lindsay buckingham: haha, wow! of all the, of all the FUCKING people to lecture me about MY drug use mick fleetwood: hey you guys know what game kicked ass? old school goldeneye

proud of him for coming out in support of BDS

crafting my statement

cutting out all blue light an hour before bed, but trying to make up for it with extra bits of blue light throughout the day

sex dream: buckethead’s ripping an insane fucking solo. they take off the mask. it’s a beautiful woman.

afternoon stroll with my 5’10” girlfriend

darren aronofsky’s new film Christopher Hitchens and Norm McDonald Smoking Cigars in Heaven (2026)

1932 annoying guy: cab calloway and jelly roll morton on the same track?? meeeep depression indicator

no patience for the more vocal “i hate wes anderson” people. you can’t start unloading benzos cause the guy who makes cuckoo clock movies pumped out his bi-annual cuckoo clock movie. grow up.

cargo shorts guy being like “oh shit it’s june” and then he takes down his big lebowski poster and hangs up the black and white poster of the two girls kissing