new story in carte blanche out today about being in love with bald dykes :D carteblanchemagazine.com/issue-51/nuyen…

if you write the most morally correct piece of media, you get The Prize

Here's some ironic satire for you... I hate my fucking life

my back really hurts today so i blocked gracie abrams

need 2 smoke with general grievous

i know i do the “gen z stare” at work because the alternative is being quite mean all the time

not one thing is funny in this heat

Deep breath. Get it together. Eyes on the road.

an order of mushroom egg foo young hates to see me and my 17yo lizard coming

i should be able to violate hipaa if i think it would make a good tweet

“i'm engaged,” “i just bought a house” congrats. i'm waiting for 28 years later: the bone temple

friends come and go but HSV1 is forever

i just saw a shadow figure but it doesnt matter that much

i choose my jobs based on where i can look the most chopped and unc and get away with it

getting new boobs just in time for the release of my upcoming chapbook. the life of a writer is full of surprises and magic.

someone needs to do something about this heat before i take matters into my own hands

It could be worse. I could be 26.

Big day for your friends without a personality

that one coworker that needs to be put down

oh waiter! one fatal dose of propofol please!