Football can be closed-minded, but there was no fuss when the Barcelona kid, Pique, began dating Shaqiri from Stoke. I was chuffed for them.

This is the 1st time a Welsh team has scored 3goals in a game since the Pot Noodle Factory beat The Rhondda Coal Miners 3-1 in 1927 #WALRUS

Slovakia v England was the most boring experience since Graeme Le Saux dug out "Fiscal Responsibility: The Boardgame" at his birthday party.

Last night I Dreamt that @chrissyteigen and Nicki Minaj had a fight on a trampoline in my garden. Me and John Legend had espresso martini.

I'm not going to tell you which way I would vote. But He-Man would vote #Leave, and he's a complete bellend. #EUref

Whatever the result, Farage will always be a dick.

Shaqiri #worldie #EURO2016

Shaqiri Shaqiri Shaqiri...#EURO2016 #SUIPOL 👏

INSANE! #SUI vine.co/v/5uhW3id5rHa

BREAKING: Boris/Gove plan in full.

Belgium need another game. They've been class but could get caught. Hazard has been excellent #HUNBEL

And Italy have suddenly, out of nowhere, turned into Italy.

Work in a Polish supermarket #SuggestAJobForFarage

Go and round up the ex-pats and bring them home... Explain their timeshare in Malaga is now fucked. #SuggestAJobForFarage

This is going to be like when Dolores Umbridge took charge of Hogwarts. #TheresaMay #HarryPotter

@MonikerAlias you're doing my next CV.... Seems you have a natural knack X

Currently Margaret Thatchers cryogenically preserved head is being worshipped as the DNA implanted from it has become a success #TheresaMay

#soitbegins #GodHelpUs #TheresaMay

Watching #kinkybritain on channel four...Purely mental. I am without doubt in the wrong job! There is a fortune to be made out of weirdos!

WHATTTTTTT??????? x.com/deancoombes/st…