This classroom smells like someone chopped an onion and then squeezed in twice as many students as there should be. Which is to say, unpleasant.

I had to take off my boot, but I got treats from St. Nick today!

Nothing like New Year’s Eve to reignite my unfounded dislike of Ryan Seacrest.

So JE and I tried to offer the guy in our row the window seat instead of the middle seat he was assigned so we could sit together, but he declined. Is he a psychopath or...?

This is the best news to wake up to. So happy for KC! Wish I was back home to celebrate!

My grandma texted me to tell me Amy Klobuchar had dropped out, and her response is the best #threeoldwhitemen

The downside of mailing in a ballot is not getting an “I voted!” sticker. #vote

Please stay safe and stay home. #travel #estonia #staythefuckhome

Glad that my social distancing working from home includes bopping around to phish jams and guitar solos with JE

Hello, yes, can anyone please explain to me how I managed to get a (quite large, painful) zit on my shin?? #notabruise

you and me both, buddy.

Now is either the best or the worst time to read a novel about an apocalyptic pandemic. Either way, I’m almost finished with it.

Wear a mask and vote for Nicole Galloway, MO friends.

Meanwhile in Belgium...

Sorry boss I can't work I am doomscrolling the coup attempt

You fist-pumped insurrectionists and baselessly attacked our elections. Your actions fueled a riot and you fundraised in the chaos. Five people are dead. Even your GOP colleagues have distanced from your acts. Yet here you are crying over a book deal. You should be expelled.