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After much deliberation my guidance counsellor flips around a piece of paper that just says: MURDERER.

This rocks. I hope he never releases the next game of thrones. I hope next time I hear about him he's started a chain of medieval casinos or something.

*to the Jehovah witnesses at my door* "Haha I'm sorry but the only eternal paradise I'm looking for is a healthy and stable marriage to Homer's beautiful wife Marge Simpson. And if you can't promise me that you can just fuck off."

Conservative Elon Musk guys online have a real "my friend in high school describing his ultimate video game that's like GTA but also Oblivion but also Halo" understanding of human innovation and technical progress.

Hey we're streaming the Jarren's Outpost board game at 5pm AEDT today! Come watch it at twitch.tv/sanspantsradio!

Feeling this rn

Pretty funny to think I'll be 53 fighting Nazi’s on Mars in some kind of fucked up Martian WW3. That's basically a Ray Bradbury short story.

There's a tear in the crotch of my jeans and every time I sit down my thigh bulges through and it looks to the untrained eye like my balls are poking out.

Gorgon Ramsey turning another restaurateur into stone with a mere glance: Oh for fucks sake.

"I'm a guy with problems!" -Jackson Baby

I was trying to do a backflip to impress some goths and ended up in Mortal Kombat. Let's just say: I'm about to be killed.

ep 6 of The Agonies ✨ Follow-up Appointment With The Masturbation Oracle with Jackson Baby & Joel Duscher is up now and it is heavily testicle themed! we discuss the “good” brand of prosthetic balls, putting pills into raviolis and getting cancer from being kicked by a pig

Plumbing the death star

"MAN OF THE PEOPLE, BITCH" -Jackson Baby

I am killed every time and it only adds to my power.

The only true way to fill the void is to accept in your heart that the void is an unavoidable biproduct of being alive and eat lots of ham and cheese and shit and drink a big Dr. Pepper.