My conspiracy theory for today is that a Freddo bar used to look like Jabba the Hutt, but now they look like Han Solo in Carbonite...#Cadbury #StarWars 🤔

Love will tear us apart. No, not love...an angry bear.

Phenomenal voice...Demi Marriner instagram.com/stories/dmarri…

The most popular Mexican dish, with cowboys in the Wild West, was the Hop Along Quesadilla.

Movie Idea:Cocaine Byre...

I've left my position at a very successful Indian Restaurant, but unfortunately I can't open my own place due to a strict Naan-compete clause.

What is Guillermo del Toro's favourite wine? Cabernet of Curiosities.

Ironically, U2's lead singer must retain amateur status to allow him to be paid for performances.

I still can't believe James Bond doesn't refer to his favourite drink as an Aston Martini.

I tried wearing a push-up bra this morning. If anything, it just makes exercising more difficult.

The art of perfectly folding a Union Jack is sometimes referred to as Origammon.

I'm really not sure about this Miami Vice reboot 🤔

Coming to a cinema near you, starring Matt Damon and Alan Titchmarsh...

What do cars and babies have in common? They both have rear wipers.

The reason you can't hear a dog whistle is that they can't pucker their lips.

There weren't any thrones or famous chairs in the Star Wars movies, apart from the Rattan of the Jedi.

The first taxi firm was based in a log cabin.

I'm giving up the David Bowie chocolate-diet. I'm just not enjoying a life on Mars, or the fact I can eat Heroes, just for one day. I'm taking it all back to the man who sold the Twirl.

If you need to clean your 'bunch of fives', try using a knuckle duster.

My new Wombles Pepper Mill is crap. Everything that comes out of it is either over-ground or under-ground.