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I’m not super knowledgeable about jazz but I do feel it in my bones

While my kazoo gently weeps

Dentist: “How often do you floss?” Excuse me? Just fix my shit. ???

(loudly interrupting stand up comedian) Haha! I was literally just about to say that same thing

Feels like every hour I get older the more I become enamored with crazy frog. I yearn to understand him

Dinosaurs have long been referred to as "nature's miracle." But what if these gentle giants had a darker side? New fossil evidence has brought to light the less cuddly side of these prehistoric creatures, revealing many likely had sharp teeth and scary claws.

People just don't build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Just a cup of whatever’s quick please, barista. I’ve got life to live

Gonna sing crazy frog at karaoke later I’ve decided

you can detect ai easily if you have love in your heart

Why must bad things happen to really cool and chill guys

Type of weather that makes you wanna eat a turkey sandwich

I always like the books better than the movies because as a reader, I get casting privileges and I always cast the main character as the hilarious jim carey

Is there a better place to spend a Friday than here?

just letting everyone know that i’ll be turning evil soon and it sucks but it has to happen

a banh mi should be free if you want one

starting a new show sucks. who are these people

I’m allowed to be a hypocrite because I’m something of a very cool guy

An emoji is worth a thousand words