Me getting on Crunchyroll to watch Attack on Titan only to see that it’s crashed

Every scene was great, but I spit my drink at this one #shingeki

I hardly ever use Twitter anymore, so I corrected someone with an anime/cartoon profile pic, and pronouns in their bio. I guess that means I chose violence. That’s fine, because I want all the smoke

Drake seeing asap rocky got Rihanna pregnant

Onlyfans, but it’s just me playing with hot wheels and building legos in cosplay and lingerie. I might cook something for extra spicy content

I don’t care who wins the Super Bowl, I just want one of my boxes to hit from the office pool

Pro tip to women in particular: masturbate before you go on the date. You probably don’t really like him that much, you’re just horny

S Tier

Random thought: I really hope this Johnny Depp case helps more men who were abused, get the courage to come forward to fight for their rights, and begin to heal from their trauma without feeling emasculated

I’m cosplaying my friends OC tomorrow, showing a giant house Sunday, and prepping to go to comic con in October. I’m really out here making moves on 3 hours of sleep every day and depression. I hope you’re proud of me Sis, I love you💕

Hopefully Johnny Depp winning his lawsuit will be the start of more men who aren’t famous coming forward from abusive relationships without a stigma

The minute we stopped doing the Harlem Shake and playing Pokémon Go, the whole world fell apart. You can’t convince me otherwise

Me: I haven’t bought cod since Cold War. Let me see about this new one. Infinity Ward: kept the 3rd and 4th perks locked until later in the matches, dead silence is a field upgrade,no red dots on the mini map when someone shoots unsuppressed Me: nvm

Him: I’m a nomad. I love traveling Me: that’s a fancy way of saying you’re 30 odd and homeless

I might not be the best person, but at least I never said “they’re hot. I could have fixed them” about a serial killer

5 is the only acceptable answer. 3 is a strong contender

There’s literally no games out that interest me right now. The last good game I got was God Of War Ragnorak. I was kinda interested in Atomic Heart, but now I’m hearing it’s mid. Sucks

A woman came in my office today and needed to call her husband for his email. She said “we both took the day off work to play the new Zelda game. I just paused”. That’s the type of relationship I want. If you’re not able to give me that, just leave me alone

I went to the store yesterday and I saw Halloween decorations on sale. I had to look at my phone to make sure I wasn’t insane. Turns out I am, but it’s still July.