Can Shardul Thakur do a Mahendra Singh Dhoni ? #INDvSA

“You look like Alf” could never be a compliment

Chris Rock’s comedic skill of pacing back and forth on stage would’ve come in handy on Oscar night #Oscars

I’m bad at giving a pep talk. I once told this girl, “You have a great sense of direction” and she walked right out.

#dosa for life

British people are so good at colonization that people speak in a British accent in fantasy worlds that don’t exist.

Within a month Elon Musk has turned Twitter from a public company to a private company to now a startup. Twitter is the new Benjamin Button #RIPTwitter #ElonMusk

Social Networks 2004: I want to connect with friends Social Networks 2023: I need an AI to post everyday, driving engagement with chat bots to keep the algorithm happy #socialmedia #ai

At coffee shops, I often interrupt people having intense conversations with “None of this matters” Thanks Blue Bottle Coffee Sightglass Coffee

Monks are always happy and smug coz they never pay taxes. #taxes #monks #happy

I’ve forgotten how to write in both cursive and all caps. My handwritten notes look like a Richter scale reading or a ransom note. #write

Elon should fight Zuck but only with weapons made from broken Tesla parts What do you say Elon Musk ?

I was seeing a Pakistani woman. She was sweet and a lot of fun but the relationship lasted one cricket match. She hates cricket. #cricket #IndianCricketTeam

We’ve created AI but still haven’t figured out how to make the perfect pillow! MyPillow is mediocre at best

If you’re aggressively walking up an escalator, just know, you impress no one

Only in San Francisco will you hear someone arguing about the importance of pronouns while stepping over a homeless person #sanfrancisco

Neil Degrass Tyson is so confident and pompous he could make a blackhole doubt itself

Heaven vs Hell vs My aunts Apartment #comedy #standupcomedy #cats #dogs #heaven #hell