Real talk-I don't understand twitter at all. What is all this? Hello? Hello!!

Twitter is like yelling in a large room, while others are yelling in the same room and then seeing how many people will gather around you.

I sincerely hope that Chris Pratt becomes a bona fide movie star because he seems like a really good dude.

Jealous of my sleeping son in his stroller, I mused that there should be strollers for adults. My wife said "Wheelchairs. Dummy."

Still don't get this thing. I guess it's like when people tell me that they don't get Reddit and I judge them harshly.

“Merrill Blumkin: Arsenio Castro III think of it like shouting into the void.”Hello-o-o-o-o-o-ooo!

“jay: "Why are we thanking Jason?" "Because he has a fragile ego" - Arsenio Castro III 😒”this dude's feed is just my quotes IRL.

Anyone who wishes to defend the hitting of children, or in fact hits children, should please unfollow me. We are not meant for each other.

Here's a photo of Shia LaBeouf in purple leggings: thecut.io/1qB1aQD

I am just going to say that the employees of the Apple stores of the mall of America and the Southdale Center are now my favorite friends

Porn star April Fools has died.

My favorite April Fools Day prank is from the Colorado Governor's office! Gov. Hickenlooper hires Michael Scott! http://1.usa.gov/i740gr

I can cinch badass warrior teenagers into colorful battle costumes. This is my wheelhouse. #HungerGamesStylist

"Bugs is who we want to be. Daffy is who we are." (Chuck Jones)

I was disappointed to learn that the TV show Ax Men isn't about black guys conducting interviews.

Donald Trump bows out of presidential race, citing inability to prove he wasn't born a douchebag.

Could we really pull off a Reading Rainbow flash mob... with everyone singing? http://ow.ly/5rcBF #readingrainbowflashmob

Go here to register... thereadingrainbowflashmob.com/cbb5b via Komplicated LB, How can we help? RT #ReadingRainbowFlashmob

“Peter Serafinowicz: hi twitter” hello

“Kathy Griffin: Gonna watch me on Same Name 2nite on CBS? 9PM/8PM central.” no thanks