I wish my Oura ring would stop gentle parenting me. “There’s major signs something is stressing your body, how are you feeling?” like we weren’t both there when I ordered that big ass margarita at dinner last night

Banter is a dying art. Being able to go back and forth with someone who's playful and witty will always be top tier. And no, it's not always flirting.

All my exes live in Texas like I’m George strait

At least life has music.

I was not meant to receive e-mails I was meant to be fun & hot & outside

Simon says thug it out

How life feels when the day was so busy that you didn’t have time to overthink

If you think you know mean girl energy, just wait until you start working with 50 year old corporate women who have been in the same job for 30 years.

seeing someone's handwriting for the first time is so intimate, like omg why is it so bad

When your joke bangs & you’re waiting for your friends to settle down

A lot of socializing involves performative interest and my issue is I simply do not give a shit

when i'm having fun on a Sunday and it reaches 6-7pm

I swear the air gets heavier around 7 pm on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they're having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

me putting away my $200 in groceries

cassie the flowers are lovely i must say

as a beautiful woman, i shouldn’t know what sharepoint is