we all have a common enemy... wasians

Now how am I supposed to tell my cat that he’s getting a root canal tomorrow?

My boyfriend bought tickets to see Barbie twice today. I think he’s a coward for not making it three times.

End of Barbie

I’m literally brainstorming a LinkedIn post do you understand how sick this is??

Ok so either I was on this train, or the exact same thing happened last Thursday on the yellow line

Trying to see how the trump arraignment will impact my commute to barre class

Been studying super hard for the Turing test, hope I pass!!🤞🏼

Ordered a dress in my size and when I finally tried it on, it was a bit small. Checked the brand’s size chart and that size’s waist is literally 3-4 inches smaller than normal. I am going insane!!!!😃

Quincy and I are listening to sandstorm and drinking IPAs

What if god heard me say that I really enjoy catholicism but just as a lore and that’s why I’m trapped in atlanta

I thought the weather in Houston was really nice. Sorry I’m adapted to climate change and you’re not!!

I think Im dating one of our generation’s greatest thinkers

i tried to just text my boyfriend my thoughts instead of tweeting them but then he tweeted what i sent

that’s me in the corner that’s me at the bus stop eating my croquetas

He saw the vision…