Shidddddddddd, fixin to ask my mamma for $500 for lip injections! Cooootness, you made me this way! Fix it.

Tolla paid $50 more for her Chris Stapleton ticket, and I just came here to say I can’t believe I’ve been friends with a fkn obvious Kook for this long!

Hear me out….bags of folded chips!!

You know you’re out of shape when putting on self tanner all over your body burns your arms and wears you tf out!

Confessions: I dump half of my beers that I, “shot gun!”

Yoooo… free Britney is LIT!

Why aren’t breakfast appetizers a thing?

I’m the bitch who will wipe a paper plate and put it back if it’s not that dirty! Joints go quick..call me eco friendly or whatevaaa!

Why don’t these kids use pillow cases for trick or treating like we did? Holds so much more, you buffoons.

If I knew the last time I went to Gilligans would be the last time, I would have went a lot harder!

“You smell good!” Thanks, Vicks vapo rub and cough drops… 🖖🏼.

Me looking at everyone’s stories of their dogs playing in the snow…

I keep seeing these tik toks of these girls going off bc people didn’t buy things off their registry! To me a registry is a request! I’ll take your hand me downs, gifts I gifted you, wrap my boy up things that are pink! I’ll be grateful for anything!

I haven’t tasted not one Alani drink that I liked. Y’all all fake loving them, I just know it!

Is it acceptable for me to whistle blow that I too, did dry January?

These gas prices ain’t shit compared to the ass ache SMECO gives us!

….is it acceptable to bring my box fan to the hospital when I go into labor?

There’s some Jeep rally going on down 231 and I feel low key embarrassed to just be driving my Jeep now!

The one womens rights movement I’m pissed I haven’t seen yet is good womens bathing suits being the same price as mens!