"I have to wake up early tomorrow" Me at 3am wondering how people even started translating languages if they didn't understand each other

Coulda just give him a real one at this point

Me after I sang the wrong lyrics out loud

If I ever went America, no one’s getting tipped.

I prefer counting all the grains of rice in a 20kg bag.

What do you want for your birthday? Me:

some of y’all didn’t hear him clearly

and he’s saying i’m so down. i’m SO down

Instead of ignoring you when you have a problem, a man who listens to you like this..

when you left the house in your idgaf outfit but now you out and gaf.

me trying to stop myself from spending my OWN money

THIS IS THE BEST STATEMENT GIVEN BY A MAN EVER!

UNPOPULAR OPINION: i miss when she looked a bit arab

Eatin them in front of their family is crazy