inviting u over and opening the door to my room and the floor is covered with piles of glittering treasure

wrote something "genius" in my drafts in the middle of the night woke up really excited to see and it was this

not tonight darling i have to shock myself with my Gizmos

Life isn’t always just lemons and limes… Sometimes it’s bananas, berries — or even peaches! So lighten up a bit. And smile 😁

losing my credit card last night has affected my mental health

my credit card has been located and this actually ended in an incredibly inspiring moment about the power of friendship

woman moment : i have been gossiping over text message with my friends all night

i made the ark of the covenant joke but about piles of glittering treasure but i can't find it because search is busted

i like gold and treasures . sue me

i like stopping into erewhon and seeing what's up potions wise

i eat lollipops for breakfast and gumdrops for lunch and dinner!

the shy chef

my friends are literally sending check in texts 4 days in advance to confirm that i'm going to be sexy this halloween and not something annoying

Gender as a Spherical Topological Space quasimatt x Mihir Patel

i'm forcing everyone to sit through two years of my costume just being that i'm wearing a silly hat but next year i have a plan to shock and amaze

the big gorgeous white cat in spain is making everyone post completely insane which makes me like it even more

i thought matthew donovan was dressed as a pirate last night so i kept making comments about gold and treasure and earlier today sent him a text saying "matthew jolly roger donovan" but now im looking at pictures and realizing he was actually napoleon