i know you want to be tied down but my ikea headboard was only $45 so please don’t wiggle around too rough or it’ll snap and honestly i don’t have the money to replace it right now im kinda in the middle of a whole thing i hope you understand.

I’ve been telling myself to lock in for 15 consecutive weeks

1st base: sex 2nd base: you tell me why you’re like that 3rd base: wearing each other’s clothes 4th base: I tell you why I’m like that

How am I supposed to relax when there are things

Speak simply, kitten. You know daddy is at his intellectual limit

It doesn’t feel like party rock is in the house tonight. It hasn’t for a long time

mind if a white girl does some nonlinear storytelling

I’m glad ion have any kids rn 😂😂😂😂😂 man life be hitting outta nowhere & I don’t have time for no crying ass baby in my face while I’m crying too😭

so it turns out you need to eat vegetables and protein instead of one bowl of honey nut cheerios per day and you’ll start to feel better

Ummmm no I don’t watch “Instagram Reels.” I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source

As I get older I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 PM lol

my wedding: me: "i do" guests: awwww me: "or do i?" guests: OOOOOooooo

i wish i lived in a sitcom and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited

how many crash outs is an acceptable amount the week of your wedding

2 hours before walking down the aisle mind you