Deranged Dispatcher (@911lunatic) 's Twitter Profile
Deranged Dispatcher

@911lunatic

911 dispatch ravings, funny, dirty and dark I don't post very often but I try to make it good. These are my own views not that of my employer or dept. #IAM911

ID: 783399802457300992

calendar_today04-10-2016 20:14:02

121 Tweet

606 Followers

207 Following

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Lesson of the day. If you wanna do LSD and not get embarrassed on a 911 call, don't buy the cheap shit. Get Grade A and trip balls proper.

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Been doing this job for a year now, in a mostly rural area but it wasn't until today that I got a call of a drunk guy simply know as Bubba.

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So my wife filled my nice sealed coffee jar with her shitty instant coffee dirt. I didn't realize till after I made some and took a drink.

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My dispatch partner has taken up watching gross-out medical videos. Not sure which ones he's watching but his reaction comments are great.

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It's been so uneventful my coworker and I spent most of the night just figure out a song stuck in his head... it was Head Band by B.o.B

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Summer Hate; the heat, call volume, the heat, the bugs, the heat, also the heat Love; no fucking 6:30am school bus slowing my drive home.

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Some days it's just worth the effort to be funny or gritty, it just feels like every1 vs u and it's time to wave the white flag. #mydaytoday

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A sign of blessings You heat up your shrimp ramen cup without 911 interruption and you find not 1 not 2 but THREE of those extra tiny shrimp

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Nothing will ruin your work drive and passion quicker than a toxic coworker. The rotation change was hectic but I'm on a much better team.

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Almost got through the night without a stupid 911 call then a Methican American calls saying they found a dead body on Google Earth.

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From previous night Dude tosses cig butt in playground woodchips and it catches Calls in 911 "I'd like to report a spontaneous combustion"

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Dear White Peoples, especially millennials. Why must your brats name have a unneeded x in it? Ive seen a Braxton Jaxon and a Claxton today

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Been the type of day where I go out and buy a new Bible then immediately go out drinking with the squad. #needjesus #butstillwild

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Deranged is back y'all. It's been really hard tweet lately. Feelings major burnout at the job. What do y'all do for dealing with burnout?