The last time Mr. Hooman called me a good boy was 5 minutes ago. Should I be worried?

This bitch Rosey thinks I like being cuddled when in reality, I'm just waiting to scratch that smile off of her face...

🎶Finna roll up to your crib in my hamster ball. Bouta snatch yo girl and take her to the mall.🎶

Whoever knows where that bitch that punched me in the face lives, hmu. Me and my cousin Jack bouta teach him a lesson. #feelingjumpy

What that mouf do? Well, I use it to burrow through holes so I can find insects to eat.

Oh you're having a bad day? Let me make it better by shitting on everything you love.

Life... is... great... :)

Here's a great magic trick: leave some food outside of your doorstep and watch it instantly disappear!

I would tell you a joke, but it might be too cheesy...

That feeling when you're about to take a 7 and a half month long slumber. #honeyimhome