I got the Skullcandy Crusher Evo headphones for half off on Amazon Prime for prime day and the bass is so intense when the gauge is all the way up that it literally makes my glasses shake when I’m wearing them together

*through heavy sobs, snot running down my face* my chimps…

Weddell seal says EAUGHHH, falls through the ice, then says GEUEGH

I have dreams similar to this but the worst one I had recently was where I was finally going to get to play meaningful snaps in one of my hs football games and when I went to put my compression shorts on someone had put a giant scoop of beans in there and then the game started

We’re gonna need more quarters

GUY WHO DOESN’T THINK THE GOVERNMENT CAN RUN THE POST OFFICE: it appears the EPA has perfected their Hurricane Device

Watched A LOT of QB’s the past 2 years, UTSA QB Owen McCown may be the best I’ve seen. No idea how he’s been flying under the radar but he is a PRO. Poise in the pocket, anticipation, accuracy, timing, foot work, arm angles, you name it! And was only a sophomore! 🎥 > Everything

*horny salesman group chat* who up late callin they leads

Texas Tech broke the horns

This album is a masterpiece

Carter Bryant is gonna be special for this team man— straight DAWG.

Donald Trump speaks on King Ghidorah:

he got that shit on

these labubu’s are getting out of hand

did he say it in his fake southern accent?

as a lifelong Riley Minix fan this is what I expected

I’m gonna say it. there are too many shoes now

running like he has a 4 inch grip on a 6 inch mechanical turd 💔

enough time has passed to where I think we can say without repercussion that E.T. was insanely ugly. Just a fucked up looking creature and we had to pretend he was cute. Get your glowing finger away from me you little freak

A perfect rapper.