I BOUGHT THE WORST GROCERIES. I ALWAYS DO THIS.

The garden worth it’s own separate post.

I used to hate bath time so much that i would hurt myself but now that i know my toys can float its pretty dope

fuck porchfest why was it all smelly frat guys

if you see me looking extremely muscular and fit pls don’t be alarmed it’s because i’ve been hand washing my clothes

yesssssss

You could’ve had the funny girl. Who made all your friends laugh. But instead you chose the normal broad. Who pays her taxes. And doesn’t fake a speech impediment every time you introduce her to someone. Well. Whatever. Have fun. With your credits and deductions

i love learning and improving it hurts tremendously

BREAKING: Scientists are staging a “science fair” in the lobby of a Congressional building to tell elected officials about the critical knowledge the US will lose because their research grants have been canceled.

my future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife…but the seeds of discontent are there

all my exes officially have me blocked on every social media platform #bingo

does feel good as fuck but now kroger wants to adopt my dog

i wake up every morning bald

not the world being my oyster 😂

can’t wait to have 2 boyfriends who are also boyfriends with each other but my boyfriends too

every crew has the one homie who always gets whipped cream on the tip of his nose when you go out for milkshakes!

having a sugar daddy is fun until you realize they’re dying soon and now the vibes are weird at lunch

beginning of August is always wild because it's peak summertime but the veil is so thin like it's halloween

thinking about seaside. i should be by the sea. can we go to the seaside. can you drive me to the seaside. please help me get back to the sea