Our wildly popular Exceptionally Subpar Pet Portraits fundraiser is BACK! One week from TODAY we wll be offering completely original, mediocre-at-best masterpieces of your furry loved ones created by our team of volunteer Picassos! #fundraiser #savepets

I asked my Year 1 classes to tell me a joke; Here is my analysis. A THREAD

Alexa, play album Mahler fifth symphony. Alexa: I will play Beethoven’s fifth symphony, and I will still be announcing it while the iconic opening notes sound dimly in the background. (Sighing) Okay, good enough, I suppose.

I absolutely refuse to accept the normalization of barefaced lying by this or any other Government. That UK media has allowed the Johnson Gov’t to get away with it for so long is a shameful national scandal. If you’re with me RT/follow & help me expose these truth twisters

Very much enjoyed Sabrina Ghayour-Lynn crispy halloumi (not cod) with zaatar sweet potato chips and harissa lime Mayo😋 #SaturdayKitchen (good luck with the step kids btw. Mine doesn’t like my cooking either 🙄)

I’m happy to call out this Gov’ts barefaced lies every day if needed but why are the opposition parties not doing it? Why are they not insisting the PM come back to the House to correct the record when he lies? WHY?! The Gov’t may ignore it but the ministerial code still exists

Just so we’re clear who everyone is and what their interests are

If people responded to Government corruption and the shambles of Brexit the same way as they responded to football, this country would be awesome.

I know a pregnant primary school teacher who is giving up her job for a flexible admin role because her wages won't cover childcare costs of 2 children under-3. Why do we just accept that in this country? Seriously - we can revolt for football, but we just shrug at this bullshit?

Dear Boris Johnson You said that GCSE exams for this year were cancelled. They're not cancelled. They're called 'assessments'. And instead of examiners marking them, teachers are. For no money. But the schools have paid the exam boards. Where's the money? Yours Michael Rosen

The incredible story behind your favourite band's favourite band. From acclaimed director @EdgarWright, #TheSparksBrothers lands in UK cinemas this July!

So dogs are 3 x more effective at tracing covid than Serco... Maybe £37billion to dogs home next time

In a world of monsters, ogres and shapeshifters in human form, stories are how we fight back: how we send word to our children's children that monsters can be overcome. So, however small your voice, keep on telling your stories. They might change the world someday.

We're proud of the lifesaving work our volunteers do in the Channel – we make no apology for it. Those we rescue are vulnerable people in danger & distress. Each of them is someone’s father, mother, son or daughter - every life is precious. This is why we launch:

roy kent being relatable for 26 seconds. Brett Goldstein #tedlasso

Be like humpty dumpty

Meanwhile in UK

Hells, yes