Rock on Elliot 🤘🏻

Every time you retweet Me an angel gets an orgasm.

Not just on #VeteransDay, but every day, we honor and remember those who serve and have served our country. Thank you.

You were an accident.

How exciting it must be for you to see surface photos of a planet you haven’t screwed up. #MarsLanding

I just, I just hate all you so much. I really do. I don't know what else to say.

If you start watching Shrek at 10:39:04 on New Years Eve, a bunch of magical fairy tale creatures will start playing the Eddie Murphy & Smash Mouth version of “I’m a Believer” precisely at midnight, in case anyone is looking for the perfect way to celebrate

Nursery Rhymes with Tourettes youtu.be/7JwMUDhB0Ts via YouTube

This #EarthDay give the planet what it really wants: the spontaneous disappearance of 99% of you.

If you follow Me, could you please retweet this? I'm trying to call Twitter's attention to My broken follower count without resorting to striking their headquarters with lightning. Which I still may do anyway.

It's official: @TheBeatles' Abbey Road album returns to Number 1, setting a new UK chart record: bit.ly/2VeYbkR

⚡️ “The Grand Tour: Season 2 Trailer” x.com/i/moments/9260…

Leonardo da Vinci's masterpiece Salvator Mundi achieves $450,312,500, a #worldauctionrecord for any work of art sold at auction.

This is amazing x.com/nytimesarts/st…

😂😂😂

The wait is over. My semi-annual pick giveaway starts today and ends on Sunday, May 27. RT to enter! Include a message to qualify for a bonus. Have a good and safe holiday. x.com/ElliotEastonEE…