6yo is naming his dinosaurs in Roblox. He names one "Mommy" and tries to name another "Daddy." Roblox censors "Daddy." Rather than explain why that would be, I play dumb and tell him just to rename the dinosaur "Dad." Crisis averted.

For all 37 years of my life I have worn bracelets and watches on my right wrist, despite being right-handed. They have constantly gotten in my way as I write and perform other dominant hand tricks. Today I put the bracelets on my left wrist. Watch out world.

All of the things I would let live in my head rent-free have found other lodgings. The current inhabitants will be receiving an eviction notice posthaste.

Almost exactly 10 years ago I started rereading Sweet Valley High. 10 years, 179 books, and the longest fictional junior year of high school that has ever existed, and I have finally finished it.

William Wrigley, Jr., sending every kid in America gum on their second birthday and rewriting Mother Goose nursery rhymes (and sending the books to schools for free) is a marketing scheme that fascinates and terrifies me in equal measure. Like space.

Just listened to the Ted Talk by Dylan Marron "Empathy is not Endorsement," and I hope he's okay with me borrowing that mantra. I love it.

We are honored, grateful, and humbled to be nominated for a the*gamehers award for the Aspiring Ally Organization of the Year. Increasing representation and access for all is the foundation we were built on. Thankful to be included with other great organizations! #TGHAwards22

I am at a bar in suburban Illinois with my BFF of 30 years and there is a Blink 182 and Greenday cover band and I am living my best life.

When one of my favorite characters is put in mortal peril, I wish as hard as anyone that they survive. But ultimately, I know the stories would be so much better if writers quit pulling punches and actually let the characters die. So I'm a little disappointed when they survive.

Mortgage company admittedly messes up some numbers: I get charged $2400 Insurance company misquotes my coverage for physical therapy: I get charged $800 for what I was told would cost $125 Don't worry, I can always sell more of my plasma to try to tread water 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

Happy Birthday to 🎃David of Murder Dice(He/Him)🎃! Almost exactly 5 years ago I started tweeting at this pushy DnD player who insisted that I listen to his podcast. I cannot express enough how amazing the people I "met" have been and how much they have helped me through hard times. You rock!

Today a student asked me a question, and I turned to look at them and answer all while continuing to type on my keyboard. First they thought I was pretending, until they walked up and saw zero typos. Then they said it was like watching The Exorcist. AIM skills for the win.

New York City's first Rat Czar (in charge of mitigating NYC's rat population) is a former elementary teacher. The teaching profession has faced so many attacks that someone would literally fight all of the rats of NYC than be a teacher.

Hey! That's me!

#EarlsTrip I have a whole stash of great books to get into this month!

#SistersOfFortune Is it wrong to say I love a good Titanic novelization? 😬😬

@HatchetteBooks and Jason Lipshutz I was telling my high school students that I was getting a copy of this book, and then it showed up today! They were jealous!

I gifted a meal by taking a photo at Steve's Meltdown - Elevated Grilled Cheese with the free GiftAMeal app. #StevesMeltdown #GiftAMeal api.giftameal.app/local-business…