Kendrick has inspired me. I realize I have maybe not been hating to my full potential

hate remembering that to my coworkers I’M the coworker… don’t they know im different

the worst people you know are realtors now

i fear we are in a bobdemic

if you post pictures from your digital camera you are REQUIRED BY LAW to tell me what camera you used so i can look it up and never buy it.

THEY LAUGHED AT ME FOR BRINGING TUMS TO THE CLUB BUT GUESS WHAT NOW THEYRE ALL ASKING ME FOR FUCKING TUMS IN THE CLUB

“And who is your primary care doctor” three different urgent cares in a trench coat, babe

instagram is so boring when i don’t have my own story to rewatch over and over again

i don’t have a mysterious bone in my body. everyone i’ve ever met knows everything about me.

god didn’t create chilis with patios bc he knew they would be too powerful.

“SAY DRAKE…”

RIP sally

They called him Sleepy Joe because we could sleep at night.

Always and forever.

If there is another recession do my parents have to get divorced again?

convincing myself that ending didn’t happen #TheWhiteLotus