popped the craziest blister on my heel because life is all about learning from your mistakes

whyd i have the freakiest dream that almost convinced me to go vegan

went 2 da island yesterday :p

said fav customer just came in and gave me a flower guys my life is actually complete now

eating mangoes but all i taste is beer

my coworker & i were walking home last night and a homeless person yelled “i hope you guys stay best friends forever” and i deadass almost cried what the fawk

studying for the first time in three weeks NOOOOOOOO WHAT A PAIN I CANT TAKE IT ANYMOREE

just finished reading my lunch break book and im on my knees thanking every higher power that it had a happy ending bc i cant handle anything else rn

went on a solo trip to ny state today and had 3 v scary encounters with creepy men but i also got 3 compliments on my outfit so i think they cancel eo out

i did Not think about potential tan lines when choosing my outfit yesterday….

god didnt give me a dick bc he knew i’d stick it in a cup of noodles

went grocery shopping today which made me remember that i dreamt about salami last night

pulled a ligma joke on my manager today but it took me two minutes to spit it out bc i was scared he’d fire me

having roommates is awesome bc you get to come back from a long vacation to the dirtiest house youve ever seen