Defoe would make an excellent Beckett.

I hear Chelsea have bought all the Oasis tickets and put them on 21 year contracts. #Ticketmaster

This game is a... #ARS

I have literally not seen one of these since I was a child. #hairymolly

Yeah I'd advise the Everton players to avoid any train stations for about 20 years. 😬

I could easily park my bike in De Bruyne's hair. #WHUMCI

Haaland is to my Fantasy Football what Cher was to Sonny.

I, for one, had NO idea Catfish And The Bottlemen were that popular.

4th official has pulled a hamstring here. Standing too close to the Spurs bench I'd imagine. #NEWTOT

Typical from Spurs. Bossing it to no real effect. Boom! One down. 🙄 #NEWTOT

That is beautiful from Diaz. Less so from Casemiro yet again 😬

He was putting on his bravest wee face 😭 #firstday

*sings this in Westlife

To add insult to injury #bikeshedgate just doesn't work. CAN THEY GIVE US NOTHING!

Mirror, mirror on the wall, what's the prettiest goal in all football? Mirror:

An AA Roadwatch but for idiots. Hourly updates on where they've been spotted and where to avoid. Not just on the roads but in pubs, shops etc.

I am very much enjoying the dreadful reviews of the new Joker so far. I will relish the inevitable and interminable whining from the fans even more. 🤤

Anyone looking for a bewk recommendation, read this immediately. It's stunning.