i need to buy a rug. i fear i don’t have what it takes

Hey sharks, you know when you read a good fantasy book but it’s not gay enough? So you read a gay fantasy and it’s not good? My idea solves this problem: it’s called good gay fantasy and yes, it is real

this is what they want you to believe

alice the camel is a statistical outlier and should not be counted

can AI hurry up and take my job i don’t like doing it

i don't understand why people think first person POV in novels is in anyway superior to a close third. in fact if you think this, you should be severely punished.

explaining the concept of narrative convention to my four year old while we watch saturday morning cartoons never kill yourself

unpicking the deep lore behind my sons imaginary friends (the ‘purple family’ who live in the walls of our apartment)

Lest you forget I am living a beautiful life

The whole concept of "body count" is ridiculous (crowd cheers) because it is predicated on the idea of personal identity (crowd murmurs) which is false (crowd boos)

great day to update your spreadsheet

when you raise a risk and it becomes an issue you should get a little party hat and a badge that says ‘told you so’

ever since i was a young child i have always wanted to be a man in the park on a bench

this is so funny how have I never noticed this

(grabbing my kid as he's biting yours) sorry, sorry - he's a Dark empath

I walked through a knuckles depth of ash and blood through the streets of Orc City trying to find my brother

It's okay to lie if it helps you make your point and you know that you're right