Emberson Cattle Co. (@ecaxshowcattle) 's Twitter Profile
Emberson Cattle Co.

@ecaxshowcattle

show cattle. music. sports. humor. general observations. don't take any of this too seriously.

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linkhttp://www.embersonshowcattle.com calendar_today02-07-2010 20:39:17

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Super 70s Sports (@super70ssports) 's Twitter Profile Photo

That one time Johnny Cash was like “No, not only is my career not over yet, I’m about to elevate my badassery to unprecedented levels.”

That one time Johnny Cash was like “No, not only is my career not over yet, I’m about to elevate my badassery to unprecedented levels.”
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Against the Jets last week, Buffalo Bills running back Thurman Thomas broke O.J. Simpson's career rushing record. The week before that, he surpassed Simpson in career touchdowns. Next up for Thomas? An attempt to kill three people at once!

Against the Jets last week, Buffalo Bills running back Thurman Thomas broke O.J. Simpson's career rushing record.

The week before that, he surpassed Simpson in career touchdowns.

Next up for Thomas?

An attempt to kill three people at once!
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Well, more O.J. Simpson news. On Friday, the Juice officially endorsed Bill Clinton for President. Adding, quote, "I'd like to help him any way I can." To which the President replied, "Well, there is ONE thing..." (cut to a picture of Bill Clinton's wife, Hillary)

Well, more O.J. Simpson news.

On Friday, the Juice officially endorsed Bill Clinton for President. Adding, quote, "I'd like to help him any way I can."

To which the President replied, "Well, there is ONE thing..."

(cut to a picture of Bill Clinton's wife, Hillary)
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

O.J. Simpson was in a different courtroom this week, attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, O.J. pointed out, quote, "Hey they're still alive, aren't they?"

O.J. Simpson was in a different courtroom this week, attempting to regain custody of his two children.

In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, O.J. pointed out, quote, "Hey they're still alive, aren't they?"
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

In his book, O.J. Simpson says that he would have taken a bullet or stood in front of a train for Nicole. Man, I'm gonna tell ya, that is some bad luck. When the one guy who would have died for you, kills you. That's probably ... you don't get worse luck than that.

In his book, O.J. Simpson says that he would have taken a bullet or stood in front of a train for Nicole.

Man, I'm gonna tell ya, that is some bad luck.

When the one guy who would have died for you, kills you.

That's probably ... you don't get worse luck than that.
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

And finally, on a sad note, the entire nation joins us here at Weekend Update in mourning the death of comic legend George Burns. Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there. Smoking kills.

And finally, on a sad note, the entire nation joins us here at Weekend Update in mourning the death of comic legend George Burns.

Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there.

Smoking kills.
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

For years, Hillary Rodham Clinton has told people that she was named for the first man to climb Mount Everest, Sir Edmund Hillary. But, as Esquire magazine recently pointed out, Sir Edmund did not climb Mount Everest until 1953, six years after Hillary was born. However, the

For years, Hillary Rodham Clinton has told people that she was named for the first man to climb Mount Everest, Sir Edmund Hillary.

But, as Esquire magazine recently pointed out, Sir Edmund did not climb Mount Everest until 1953, six years after Hillary was born.

However, the
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

In Los Angeles this week, the defense suffered a setback in the second O.J. trial, when Simpson was ordered to turn over a secret videotape which lawyers say contains proof of his guilt. What's on the tape? The FIRST O.J. trial.

In Los Angeles this week, the defense suffered a setback in the second O.J. trial, when Simpson was ordered to turn over a secret videotape which lawyers say contains proof of his guilt.

What's on the tape?

The FIRST O.J. trial.
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

A frightening moment this week for First Lady Hillary Clinton. Her plane, en route to the former Soviet Union, was forced to make an emergency landing when it was discovered that a frayed wire in the engine was causing serious malfunctions. The President was said to be

A frightening moment this week for First Lady Hillary Clinton.

Her plane, en route to the former Soviet Union, was forced to make an emergency landing when it was discovered that a frayed wire in the engine was causing serious malfunctions. 

The President was said to be
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

And finally... in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, a man allowed his eight-year old daughter to take the wheel of his car. And an accident ensued, that damaged seven other cars, and injured six people. Which once again proves my theory: Women can't drive.

And finally... in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, a man allowed his eight-year old daughter to take the wheel of his car. And an accident ensued, that damaged seven other cars, and injured six people.

Which once again proves my theory:

Women can't drive.
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

At the White House this week, President Clinton officially came out against same-sex marriages. What's more, the President said he is not too crazy about opposite-sex marriages, either.

At the White House this week, President Clinton officially came out against same-sex marriages.

What's more, the President said he is not too crazy about opposite-sex marriages, either.
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

A priest says that he got Jeffrey Dahmer to believe in God before he died. Asked if this would get Dahmer into Heaven, the priest said, "No. But it was fun to make him think so."

A priest says that he got Jeffrey Dahmer to believe in God before he died.

Asked if this would get Dahmer into Heaven, the priest said, "No. But it was fun to make him think so."
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

The announcement of the O.J. civil verdict came toward the end of President Clinton's annual State of the Union address. And, to many observers, completely overshadowed the event. Even the President was distracted during his speech - waiting to hear exactly how much it costs to

The announcement of the O.J. civil verdict came toward the end of President Clinton's annual State of the Union address. And, to many observers, completely overshadowed the event.

Even the President was distracted during his speech - waiting to hear exactly how much it costs to
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

In Bridgeport, Connecticut, Robert Auger, who suffers from emphysema, blew up his home trying to smoke a cigarette while breathing with an oxygen tank. In response, the R. J. Reynolds company has presented him with its "Lifetime Achievement Award."

In Bridgeport, Connecticut, Robert Auger, who suffers from emphysema, blew up his home trying to smoke a cigarette while breathing with an oxygen tank.

In response, the R. J. Reynolds company has presented him with its "Lifetime Achievement Award."
Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day (@normsnljokes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

According to researchers in Australia, koala bears have fingerprints so close to those of human beings, that they can easily be mistaken by police at the scene of a crime. It should be noted, however, that the research was funded by O.J. Simpson. So...

According to researchers in Australia, koala bears have fingerprints so close to those of human beings, that they can easily be mistaken by police at the scene of a crime. 

It should be noted, however, that the research was funded by O.J. Simpson. So...