I feel like flour bag technology should be better at this point.

No one ever does “Iris” by Goo Goo Dolls at Karaoke. You can’t be ironic about it, and the level of emotional intensity it would bring is simply too much to be contained within the social remit of Karaoke. It has a sort of holiness about it which people know not to transgress

i'm a bit vexed by this

me and my gf have a forty-six year spotify listening age gap lmao

getting really sick of having a personal life

the ex took the cat after she killed the dog and now the cat is going to die too and i'm once again in absolute awe at how a person's most prominent competence seems to be based around electrocuting my brain from a distance without interacting with me at all. incredible stuff rly

don't talk shit about The Entity bro

just thought of a pretty good tweet do you wanna hear it

okay so since we can all agree that the first best thing is the love of a beautiful woman (don't argue with me i'm right) and the second best thing is a really big sandwich (don't argue with me i'm right) can we please figure out what the third best thing is

related news: i have joined a band called National Diet amd we're about to record an album about aliens

Trump made shit so expensive Maga can only afford to rent the libs.

experience tells me that this is how you stop getting handed the aux because you keep turning on kayo dot at house parties

beyond stoked that my ad-blocking decision has resulted in me only seeing ads by @ products and though i have blocked @ products i still see ads. quite something.

just saw an ad for apple tv watchin an hbo show on hulu with an addon WHAT the fuck is happening & WHY the FUCJ is "apple" auto-capitalized that is a HANDFRUIT first & colloquial source of abrahamic original sin second & a brand 3rd get OFF me dead steve jobs who is steve wozniak