PBR, fire pit, and a city view 👌🏼

Not me calling all my exes to find out wtf

It me

I want to die sitting in the woods and feeding a bear snacks until he inevitably decides I’m the next snack.

Got a visitor pass to SeaTac so I could help my mom get through security and to her gate and see her off* *Have two airport beers before I head home

It’s always a good time for an old fashioned

What happened to earphones in being a clear sign to leave one the fuck alone? We used to be a proper country.

Wordpress over here doing my therapist's job for free

Me when a crosswalk voice tells me to wait and there’re no cars coming:

Finally, something “unprecedented” I can get behind.

It’s a refrigerVader

Fuck me, if only

I, for one, choose Shakira law.

Benny the Jet looking from “Babe Ruth” to the picture on his wall and saying “you’re him” like it’s not obviously some creepy dude in cosplay sneaking into his bedroom #thesandlot #Happy4thofJuly

You better pay me well over $1k PER SNAKE for dealing with that shit

Fuck I would’ve fallen in love with Tom and Zendaya if I was one on set with the other one too.

Owen Wilson watching Djokovic’s drop shot

Muted comments on her tweet because she knew it was a rip-roarin’ fire tweet and didn’t want to deal with the notifications. I get it.

Me as a 37yo when I move my coffee table books to a different shelf and put a seasonal candle on top of the stack