Haven't tweeted in 39 days but popping back into the psycho-sphere right quick to remind you all that A League of Their Own is one of the crowning achievements of American cinema BYE

INCOMING KNICKS FREE AGENT SIGNINGS WATCH OUT WORLD

Every time an editor asks me to excerpt one of my poems or submit something under a page for online publication, I wonder if they've ever strode up to the ocean and thought, "pity we can only fit one bucket of water in this tiny contraption."

Has the phrase "this ain't my first rodeo" ever made the person to whom it's said feel assured

Me: I think that racist poem got published because he paid them off. My friends: You’re paranoid. Ivy League scandal: hold both of my beers.

Congratulations everyone we have arrived at the moment in history where independent presses now send you text notifications on your phone about new publications like they're getting out the vote for mid-term elections

If ever you find yourself on the brink, whatever you do don’t watch another human karaoke “Beverley Hills”

Really hope "the Unfuckable Hulk" is already a Jonah Ryan insult on Veep and I'm not quite literally dreaming of being a writer on that show

lol you used the word traversing in a poem

This Sunday! Readings by Joshua Henkin, Garrard Conley, @heyteebs, @heididiehl1, Danniel Schoonebeek @wolf_hour @JosephCardinal6 @graysonjmorley & Mónica de la Torre!

The fact that Bill de Blasio's campaign song is Rudy Can't Fail should make him ineligible to hold public office and make decisions as benign as which cereal he intends to eat on a given morning

Thanks for throwing some love at the never-ending chorus of my straw-bale tenor, TNY Poetry

Y'all ever think about how Buzzy Cohen went into Final Jeopardy in game 2 of his insanely dominant run with $9400 and Jerry had $16400 and Jerry beefed it on a clue about Dracula and is probably 100% haunted by this fact for the rest of time? Just me? Cool.

Pitchfork editor: okay I need a list of the best punk albums of 2019 Pitchfork writer: *rubs hands together* hell yeah I am gonna put so much instantly forgettable mediocre niche shit on this list

Galaxy brain: what if we all stopped going to the traveling corporate writing conference in perpetuity and agreed to spend all the money on indie publishers every year instead of just the one year there's global hysteria

Some takeaways from rewatching A League of Their Own: Madonna is from Peekskill, NY. Jimmy Dugan is an irredeemable piece of shit. Téa Leoni is in this movie and has zero lines. The Racine Belles did NOT blow a 3-1 lead in the finals. But the 2016 Golden State Warriors sure did.