Oversharing is common for someone who lives with a traumatic past that others deny happened. Their hope is that being believed will calm the shame that often suffocates their mind. The reality: It will.

Your lack of support is not a sign of you lacking value. Much of the world is based on performance and profit. Pausing for hurt people exposes that. I hope you find those who uplift you, meet you where you are, and help you feel seen.

The intent of an abuser is to make you doubt your own beauty, so you fear letting other people in. You feeling free, loved, seen is an abusers greatest threat.

A person in their darkest hours doesn't need a pep talk. They need to know someone else sees and understands the darkness.

Your body isn’t weak because it responds to triggers. It’s remembering.

It’s so hard after experiencing abuse to understand a person’s pursuit of you. Our bodies tend to be overly protective, while our heart longs to experience something new. Be patient with yourself (and others) here. What happened was real. Patience and understanding is the way.

People living with complex trauma don't see the world like others. They see through a lens of survival, coping, and sometimes, hope. Everyday they're looking for relief and validation, because the world that looks back at them rarely acknowledges what they're trying to overcome.

Stop telling people who've been abused in relationships that they attracted it. Please stop.

It’s unfortunate how many quality people feel like they have to prove that they’re good people-not because of things they’ve done but because of things that were done to them. This is the lasting impact of shame and trauma to a gentle soul.

Standing up for yourself after a lifetime of "fawning" often starts in little ways. No tiny act of assertion is too small to matter. Thank micro-assertions. Micro acts of courage. Just make it happen first-- we can develop it & adjust the scale later.

Verbal, financial, spiritual, & other forms of non-physical abuse can absolutely elicit "flinch" & other reflexes associated w/ getting hit. Our nervous & endocrine systems register violence as violence. They don't rationalize-- & neither should we.

• Famous paper arguing for increasing the age of maturity from 18 to mid 20s. - DOI: 10.1016/S2352-4642(18)30022-1 • Large, robust study showing executive function maturity around 18 - DOI: 10.1038/s41467-023-42540-8 • Brain changes continue into your 80s in a similar way

Abusers use threats to expose their partner's secrets or personal information as a means of control, creating fear and anxiety. They manipulate their partner into compliance by leveraging sensitive information and targeting their vulnerabilities. This tactic isolates them and

Being alone when you need support will really make you look at everybody differently

For many complex trauma survivors, trees, bodies of water, & nature play a role in their recovery that is hard to explain-- & impossible to replace.

Your nervous system is listening. Every time you soften your shoulders, look up at the sky, or let out a long exhale… you’re teaching it something new. It’s about repetition. Tiny daily choices, repeated with kindness, become your new wiring.

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Do what you can, today. It won't be perfect. It may not be elegant or clever. You may not be sure it's the "right" thing. But CPTSD recovery is all about rebuilding trust-- in our perceptions, in our bodies, in our decisions. This isn't about perfection. It's about baby steps.

Rest in peace, the wonderful and kind Judge Frank Caprio (1936–2025).

Trauma recovery is all about disrupting old patterns that have gotten conditioned in us over time-- & disruption is not comfortable or easy. You're not "weak" or "fearful." You're having a normal reaction to huge change, even when the change is positive. Give yourself grace.