Civil war hat at the museum today. CBTM #LANK

Vitamin water is better than Gatorade and Powerade. #LANK

I enjoy “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” by Shaboozey and the hate it gets is undeserved

Only one cashier open and I’m stuck behind this. #Foodstamps

Will only be referring to my kid as son or offspring. Builds character. #builtinthishouse

Rory trying not to choke on the 2nd Nine again. You can’t make this up🤣. #MastersSunday

The worst night of sleep because of your dad's ridiculous snoring First game at 9:47am but report to the field at 7:30 for no reason Temp: 101 in the air, 113 on the turf Location: 15-20 minutes outside a mid tier southeastern city Good times. Take me back.

Fuck it, welcome back Matthew Dellavedova. #whiteboy #greatestwhiteboyoat

Not sure who made soccer jerseys the universal jersey to be worn as a regular T-Shirt, but they look awful and my first impression of you is that you are either weird or don’t speak English. #Shrink #Lank

Gatorade cooler for extra seating in the dorm room. #expand #cbtm

Doesn’t really get much better then this. #JohnStockton

Buddy of mine just sent me this. #expand

Doesn’t get much better then this does it? #BBTW

Good buddy had to to a naked lap in the rain. Safe to say running down the wooden stairs wasn’t the smartest idea. #summer #nakedlap

Buddy of mine showed up with just irons in his bag….plus two putters. Proceeded to shoot 4 under. #expand ?

Does anyone know is Bryson actually practices putting? Because it sure does not seem like it. #USOPEN2025

Simplicity is not better. (Slight deck pool flex) #themountainsarecalling

Farting on the metro is so clutch because no one knows where it comes from. Think people are catching on tho as I write this tweet.

Cocaine

Do NOT wish for anything when it’s 11:11. The worst outcome possible for what I’ve wished for has happened the last 2 times.