I am not responsible for the googly eyes on the office hedgehog, officer.

If I ever become a billionaire I’m not going to buy a supercar. I’m going to buy the biggest beat-up van I can find and reinforce it, then smash idiot drivers off the road and use my billions to cover my ever increasing insurance bill.

Syncronised duck arse

It’s terrible what these environmental protestors are doing to works of art. Is that smeared with… pig’s blood?

Excellent news Scottish Government

Mystery solved! 😄

Nothing ever changes

If I ever get married, it will be at the giant Phil Collins creeping baby church

Monday morning